1. Trust- She taught me to trust. Like any other pregnant woman, there were days when I was anxious if all is well with my pregnancy. There were days when she was lazy and did not kick or move so much, then there were days when she moved a lot and both these kinds of days just made me wonder if all was well with her. The only constant thought with all these doubts was trust. I somehow knew that if I lost trust, I would loose a battle with my negative thoughts. My husband too, just told me one thing constantly “We need to trust that what whatever happens, we can handle it.” That made sense! Eventually it is about trusting our own abilities, right? Trust helped me go through almost 36 hours of excruciating labor and it was trust that helped me pick up a few minutes old little girl confidently. That is the first and the most important lesson I have learnt from her.
2. Vulnerability is important- As a tiny baby, she is the most vulnerable thing there can ever be and somehow that makes us care for her more. It makes us more protective and this vulnerability makes sure that all her needs are met. Sometimes we just want to show we are strong, even though we may not be feeling so from within, I don't know why. We are, as humans, far too fearful of our vulnerability. I think we underestimate it. How will we change if we never feel vulnerable? We are allowed to be weak and vulnerable, that's what makes us human. She has taught me to embrace my vulnerability.
3. Ask for what you need- My little baby, like all the other babies, follows a simple principle- she simply asks for what she needs, No ego, no thinking again, no manipulating words and covert thoughts. Even with her current communication skills limited to crying, her communication is far more clear than most adults I know. She has taught me the importance of saying what you feel. To trust that I will be heard and that even if I feel weak, it is ok.
4. Prioritise- I have learnt within a week of motherhood that not all people in our lives deserve the amount of importance we give them. Sometimes those we consider family are the farthest away from us. I,now have a limited amount of free time and I would rather invest that time in relationships that are equal and not just one sided. Even relationships that are full of expectations or simply just formalities are a big 'No' for me.
5. We are eventually all alone- Yes, it may sound strange coming from a new mother but it is true. Other's may or may not be there for us. We still have to learn all our lessons. When my little girl cries because of gas in her tiny tummy, me or her father can only try to help her. We can only do as much as we know, still the relief is her's, if she gets it or if she continues to cry in a loop, we can't do anything till the time she decides to stop, no matter how much we pat her or hold her. It's her pain, her lesson and her learning.
6. Smiling can make someone's day- I don't know if she is truly smiling at me or just to herself but her smile swells my heart. I am known to smile a lot but my little angel adds a whole new meaning to it. I have learnt to smile more, smile often and smile with all my heart.
7. Perfection is subjective- She has taught me that perfection too, is very subjective. What is perfect for me may not be for the next person. My parenting style may be perfect for me and completely wrong for someone else. 'She' is perfect for me but for someone else her nose may be funny, her cheeks too chubby or her name not too good. It does not make her less perfect for me, nor does it make her perfect for someone else.
Thanks my darling for coming into our lives with all the love, lessons and tenderness.
