What!! It has been SIX months already? They have been the fastest and the slowest going six months of my life. Fastest, as I can't believe how quickly they just flew by. There were so many precious moments, smiles, achievements, kisses and cuddles. The days just went by and all I had done was feed her, dress her and kiss her. They were the slowest, because I realised the value of each day and each moment. The times we hugged made my mind all present in that moment, nights seemed long with multiple waking and feeding sessions and yet they have been the most beautiful six months of my life. I remember the little monkey I gave birth to as the tiniest thing on Earth, I thought that was only yesterday and yet she has already grown into a beautiful baby, gaining fat and love everyday.
She is six months young and has managed to change me in more than six ways. Here are the top six that come to my mind right now -
1. I have become 'shameless' in more ways than one- I have absolutely no qualms in popping out my boob in a public place to feed my baby. All I know, is that my baby is hungry and she needs to be fed. I know some people think it is a shameless act and I should find a private place to feed her. I don't think so. Period.
I have also become 'shameless' when it comes to telling people what I would not do, can not do or do not wish to do. I have a super simple rule, my baby is my first priority. Me and my husband come a close second followed by a very few close ones. Rest of the world has to wait.
2. I learnt that just because I don't like to dress up doesn't mean I am the same with my baby. I am not a dresser, I rarely pay much attention to what I wear or how my hair are, and that is because I believe I look nice in whatever I wear. I truly do. Yet every morning I dress her up in the cutest possible way I can, sometimes even fitting the occasion. We recently went for a walk with a fellow mommy and Maya was dressed in a cool track suit. (Obviously the babies were snug in their prams and only the mommies walked ;))
3. Suddenly I love something more than my work (and my husband. Both of which I admit, I love dearly.) It is much more important for me to raise a human being with love and patience than earning. This human being is the future of the world (I don't mean my baby alone) and needs as much love and security that I can give her. I still work, write my articles, work with my clients but it is all around my baby's schedule. Thankfully I am blessed with people who understand this.
4. I don't care what people around me are doing or thinking or saying. I always had a streak of not caring what the world thinks or expects from me but having Maya has heightened this to a new level. I know some people judge me, I know some find faults, some even think they know better than me how to raise my child. For me as long as my little girl is happy with what I am doing, I don't care what others expect me to do. Secretly I even think for some- 'I have seen your children (who are adults now) and I don't want that for my child.'
5. She has helped me drop my apprehensions. I always wondered how it felt to dance in public without caring what others think. I always wanted to act in films. I always wanted to sing out aloud. Thanks to her, I do all those now and more without blinking an eyelid. Actually not all those, I still haven't acted in any film but I do act like a clown if it stops her from crying. I sing even in the presence of others and every time I sing, I am rewarded by the sweetest smile.
6. I had heard a million mothers tell me how many sacrifices they had made for their children, what I felt was that they were passing on the burden of their choices on their children. 'I gave up my career for you', Did the child ever ask you to? You did it because you thought it was the right thing to do as a mother, It was still your choice, for a reason that I respect but passing on the burden of your decisions is not acceptable. Till the time I wasn't a mother myself, I thought maybe I was too harsh on these mothers but now I can confidently say- I have given up a lot of things because I wanted to. I don't work full time any more, I can't have a glass of wine that I so enjoy because I am feeding her, I have not slept a full nights's sleep for a long time and I can go on and on but I do all this because I want to do it for my baby. If I have decided to give birth to her, then it is my responsibility to offer her my best. Rest is always up to her.
She has made burping and farting in public cute for me. Thanks to her I realise that we can sneeze and fart exactly at the same time. She has made me a better person, she has made me patient and gentle. She has made me more me. I hope I can give at least half of what she has given me. Thanks my love. Happy 6th Month Birthday.
