I saw at least 10 of my friends posts #metoo in one hour yesterday. I wanted to post it too, right away in fact but then I asked why? Whom would it help? Yes, the gravity of the issue would be visible for everyone to see. But what after that?
Will it stop that man in the bus whose penis I felt on my buttocks innumerable times from doing it to another girl?
Will it stop that man who pinched my breast and ran away while I just walked with my friend as a teenager from trying again?
Will it make the uncles and the man servants stop believing that it is OK to touch, squeeze, feel?
Will it make them feel ashamed?
Will they read these posts and feel sorry?
What would it do in the end?????
Don't get me wrong, awareness is great. Talking about it is important, sharing is necessary but if we don't do anything else then it is a waste. If no further steps are taken then it would just give us a sense that we aren't alone in experiencing this, thats it. It would just be a safety in numbers type of reassurance. Who needs only that, I don't!!
I learnt early on that my elbow was a great tool to be shoved in the stomach of the man standing behind me on the bus.
I also taught myself that there was no shame in using my fingers to pinch that man's private parts if he still did not stop.
I realised that humiliating also worked wonders, I have turned around and said things like 'peeche hat nahi toh tod doongi tera' (move back or I will break yours) & the typical 'apni maa-behen ko bhi aise hi karta hai kya?'(Do you treat your mother and sister in the same way?). I used my strongest voice and the loudest pitch possible. Some smart ones would occasionally turn around and say, kya bakwas kar rahi hai, pagal hai kya? (What shit are you talking, are you mad?) but that's OK.
He is allowed to use his words as long as he knows how to use them. He is allowed to retaliate as long as he knows that his actions are not OK. He is allowed to be human as long as he lets the beast sleep. He is allowed to change and become a better person.
P.S- I only use 'he' in this post because all my experiences have been with men. I know it has been a woman for many of the #metoo brigade too.
I am sorry we go through this. I hope we find a way to change. I hope the next generation doesn't need to use #metoo for this cause.
