पगली

इक बात थी जो कहनी थी कयी महीनों से ख़ुद को

पर झिझक थी, घबराहट थी, और शक था खुदी पे
तमन्ना थी, सपने थे और डर था हारने का

इक आहट सी हुई थी इसी मन के कोने में
कई बार समझाया ख़ुदी ने खुद ही को
ये भ्रम है तेरे मन का कोई आहट नहीं है पगली!

इक दिल था खुदी का जो रोकता था ख़ुद से
कभी भ्रम कभी डर कभी कहता था पगली
वही बात थी बस जो कहनी थी ख़ुद से

ख़्वाब देखने के लिए मैं पगली ही सही

All thanks to you my love

When I see any child laughing with joy,
I think of you
When I see a little girl,all kissable and cuddly,
I think of you.
When I see a baby giggling away to glory,
I think of you
When I see toddler grinning in their daddy's arms as he runs towards the train,
I think of you.

When I look at the lines on my belly,
I think of you.
When I look at the hanging skin of my stomach,
I think of you.
When I look at the clock at 3 a.m.
I think of you.
When I look at the closed door behind which you are sleeping,
I think of you.

When me and papa laugh now,
it is usually because of you.
When I cry tears of love.
they are normally for you.
When my life was beautiful,
I didn't know about you.
When everyday is so full of love and life now,
It is all thanks to you my doll,
All thanks to you.

5 questions in life that I have absolutely no idea about.

1. What do I do with tooth brushes that guest leave behind?
Have you ever had house guests who forget to get their brushes? I have and I know it is normal to forget. Obviously I offer them a new brush out of brush stock. What I don't understand is, why do they leave these brushes behind when they leave? Am I supposed to recycle them for the next guest? Or save it for them for the next time? Help, I need answers.

2. Can we fart when we are asleep?
Another question that has perturbed me often is this one. Can we or can't we? Maybe we can and never get to know about it or may be farts and sleep an never be together??? I am clueless.

3. What do I do when in the middle of a conversation someone starts texting or gaming on their phone?
Should I continue to talk? Wait for them to finish their game and get back to me? Never meet them again since they don't have basic etiquette? Meet them and pretend it doesn't affect me? Do you have more suggestions? Please share.

4. Why is asshole an abuse?
Isn't it a really important part of our body? I thought an asshole helps us eliminate the things that our body doesn't need any more. It let's us get rid of our shit and yet it is an abuse!! Seems strange to me.

5. Why do some people force us to eat/drink something that we don't wish to?
I don't understand this part of hospitality where I m literally forced to have something. 'Arre, ek sey kuch nahi hoga' (nothing will happen to you if you take just one). When did I ever say that it would have a dire effect? I just said, I don't want to, Why is it so hard to understand?????  I know so many people, including a few family members who would force me or others to a level of embarrassment. Of course it is me who is embarrassed, not the one forcing.

If you understand how forcing me to eat or drink something helps in proving that you are a good host, please help me understand.


I actually have many more of these life altering questions, but help me with first please.

What 6 months of motherhood did to me !!!!

What!! It has been SIX months already? They have been the fastest and the slowest going six months of my life. Fastest, as I can't believe how quickly they just flew by. There were so many precious moments, smiles, achievements, kisses and cuddles. The days just went by and all I had done was feed her, dress her and kiss her. They were the slowest, because I realised the value of each day and each moment. The times we hugged made my mind all present in that moment, nights seemed long with multiple waking and feeding sessions and yet they have been the most beautiful six months of my life. I remember the little monkey I gave birth to as the tiniest thing on Earth, I thought that was only yesterday and yet she has already grown into a beautiful baby, gaining fat and love everyday.

She is six months young and has managed to change me in more than six ways. Here are the top six that come to my mind right now -


1. I have become 'shameless' in more ways than one- I have absolutely no qualms in popping out my boob in a public place to feed my baby. All I know, is that my baby is hungry and she needs to be fed. I know some people think it is a shameless act and I should find a private place to feed her. I don't think so. Period. 

I have also become 'shameless' when it comes to telling people what I would not do, can not do or do not wish to do. I have a super simple rule, my baby is my first priority. Me and my husband come a close second followed by a very few close ones. Rest of the world has to wait. 

2. I learnt that just because I don't like to dress up doesn't mean I am the same with my baby. I am not a dresser, I rarely pay much attention to what I wear or how my hair are, and that is because I believe I look nice in whatever I wear. I truly do. Yet every morning I dress her up in the cutest possible way I can, sometimes even fitting the occasion. We recently went for a walk with a fellow mommy and Maya was dressed in a cool track suit. (Obviously the babies were snug in their prams and only the mommies walked ;))

3. Suddenly I love something more than my work (and my husband. Both of which I admit, I love dearly.)  It is much more important for me to raise a human being with love and patience than earning. This human being is the future of the world (I don't mean my baby alone) and needs as much love and security that I can give her. I still work, write my articles, work with my clients but it is all around my baby's schedule. Thankfully I am blessed with people who understand this.

4. I don't care what people around me are doing or thinking or saying. I always had a streak of not caring what the world thinks or expects from me but having Maya has heightened this to a new level. I know some people judge me, I know some find faults, some even think they know better than me how to raise my child. For me as long as my little girl is happy with what I am doing, I don't care what others expect me to do. Secretly I even think for some- 'I have seen your children (who are adults now) and I don't want that for my child.'

5. She has helped me drop my apprehensions. I always wondered how it felt to dance in public without caring what others think. I always wanted to act in films. I always wanted to sing out aloud. Thanks to her, I do all those now and more without blinking an eyelid. Actually not all those, I still haven't acted in any film but I do act like a clown if it stops her from crying. I sing even in the presence of others and every time I sing, I am rewarded by the sweetest smile.

6. I had heard a million mothers tell me how many sacrifices they had made for their children, what I felt was that they were passing on the burden of their choices on their children. 'I gave up my career for you', Did the child ever ask you to? You did it because you thought it was the right thing to do as a mother, It was still your choice, for a reason that I respect but passing on the burden of your decisions is not acceptable. Till the time I wasn't a mother myself, I thought maybe I was too harsh on these mothers but now I can confidently say- I have given up a lot of things because I wanted to. I don't work full time any more, I can't have a glass of wine that I so enjoy because I am feeding her, I have not slept a full nights's sleep for a long time and I can go on and on but I do all this because I want to do it for my baby. If I have decided to give birth to her, then it is my responsibility to offer her my best. Rest is always up to her.

She has made burping and farting in public cute for me. Thanks to her I realise that we can sneeze and fart exactly at the same time. She has made me a better person, she has made me patient and gentle. She has made me more me. I hope I can give at least half of what she has given me. Thanks my love. Happy 6th Month Birthday.